How to support someone affected by violence?

If someone you know has experienced gender-based violence (GBV), your support can make a huge difference in their journey toward healing and safety. It can be difficult to know what to say or do, but the most important thing is to listen, believe them, and help them access the support they need.

Here are some practical ways you can help:

Listen Without Judging

Let them share their experience at their own pace. Avoid interrupting, doubting, or blaming them. Instead, say things like:

• “I believe you.”
• “This is not your fault.”
• “You are not alone. I am here to help.”

Experiencing violence can leave someone feeling afraid, ashamed, or confused. Let them know their feelings are valid. Be patient and understanding. Even if they are not ready to talk, knowing that you are there for them can be reassuring.

Offer Emotional Support

Experiencing violence can leave someone feeling afraid, ashamed, or confused. Let them know their feelings are valid. Be patient and understanding.

• Avoid pushing them to make decisions before they are ready.
• Respect their boundaries—they may not want to talk about everything right away.
• Reassure them that help is available and that they deserve to feel safe.

Respect Their Choices

It can be frustrating if someone does not take action right away, but they have the right to make their own decisions. Some survivors may not feel safe leaving or reporting the abuse immediately.

• Do not pressure them—instead, empower them with options.
• Let them know you will support them no matter what they decide.
• If they are in immediate danger, help them find emergency support.

Keep Their Information Private

• Survivors of violence may be at risk if their abuser finds out they are seeking help. To protect their safety:
• Do not share their story with others unless they give you permission.
• Be mindful of digital security—avoid texting or calling if they are being monitored.
• Ensure they have a safe space to talk if they need one.
• If they need help hiding their online activity, they can find guidance [link to online safety resources].

Take Care of Yourself Too

Supporting someone affected by violence can be emotionally challenging. It’s important to also take care of your own well-being.

• Seek support for yourself if needed.
• Set boundaries to avoid burnout.
• Remember, you are not responsible for their choices, only for offering support.

Where to Find Help

If you or someone you know is affected by violence, there are resources reach out today at 0800207000 to speak to a professional at DRC. All services are free of charge and confidential.

If someone is in immediate danger, call emergency services (112).